The Cycle Of Violence Against Women Starts With Disrespect – An Essential Checklist For Every Parent

respectful relationships talking to kids about sex Aug 26, 2021
Originally posted 13/11/2016
Recently a student told me about a ten year old boy at school who 'dumped' his girlfriend for the fourth time. The student said "but this time he 'really' dumped her," he said to her: "...when we are older you will be homeless in the street with no money and I will drive past you with a hot chick and my Ferrari...".
​Perhaps the most disturbing part of this story is that it happened weeks ago and now she is 'going out with' him again!!!

Violence Against Women: Let's Stop It At The Start: Australian Government:
"Not all disrespect towards women results in violence. But all violence against women starts with disrespectful behaviour.
Disrespect starts with the beliefs and attitudes we develop from a young age.
Our children form their beliefs from the world around them – what they hear, see and talk about. And from the stories, people and experiences that are an integral part of their childhood"


Checklist for messages to give your children about respect

​Do this checklist from Let's Stop It At The Start Campaign.

  • She has a right to be treated with respect by boys: Yes or No
  • That it’s not her fault when a boy insults, shouts at her or becomes aggressive: Yes or No
  • It’s wrong for boys to take, view or share pictures of girls without their permission: Yes or No
  • It’s important for adults to speak out against boys who are aggressive towards girls: Yes or No
  • Who she could talk to, or where to go for help if a boy is aggressive towards her: Yes or No
  • It’s okay to stand up for herself: Yes or No

  • Girls have the same right to be treated with respect as boys: Yes or No
  • Insulting a girl isn’t acceptable: Yes or No
  • Shouting at a girl is threatening behaviour: Yes or No
  • A boy isn’t entitled to harass or control a girl: Yes or No
  • Taking, viewing or sharing pictures of a girl without her permission is wrong: Yes or No
  • It’s important for adults to speak out against boys who are aggressive towards girls: Yes or No
  • Who he could talk to, or where to go for help if he sees a boy being aggressive towards a girl: Yes or No
  • It’s not okay to pressure girls into any kind of sexual activity: Yes or No

Conversations to Stop It At The Start: Click here

Factors That Contribute to Domestic Violence

"Men tend to be more prone to becoming hostile and violent towards women if they:
  • have been socialised to adopt rigid, traditional gender roles and stereotypes (e.g., men should be competitive and dominant; women should be cooperative and nurturing) (VicHealth, 2007),
  • believe that men’s superiority over women is a ‘natural order’ that should be preserved (Reidy et al., 2009),
  • feel their masculinity or authority has been threatened – particularly if women have not complied with their gender role expectations (Gallagher & Parrott, 2011)"
This cluster of interacting factors that underpin the most common pattern of domestic violence are identified from decades of research by Australia’s leading domestic violence prevention agencies, such as Our Watch, VicHealth, DVRCV* and ANROWS. 

Streker goes on to say: if these factors are present in a culture that also reinforces male superiority and a culture that excuses, justifies & promotes violence, then males may use domestic violence to express power and assert their control in intimate relationships and families.

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