Today's news: Rape & teen shares the video on social media. Parents, use this as a teachable moment.Aug 26, 2021
Originally posted 22/03/2017
How to teach sexual consent, responsibility and pleasure
In recent news, the horrendous behaviour of three men: sexually assaulting a 16 year old and filming it. When these stories of abhorrent behaviour towards other humans comes on TV in your household - use it as a teachable moment.
Show this fantastic consent/tea video to your teens. It demonstrates the basic principles of consent, how sexual consent builds upon that, and how force and emotional manipulation are not ways of getting enthusiastic consent in sexual or non sexual scenarios. Talk about respectful relationships because it has never been more important to talk about pleasure in sexual relationships.
Porn has replaced pleasure and intimacy with penetration and performance. Teens learn about sex from porn. However abhorrent, parents need to think about the link of raping an unconscious person and videoing it, with porn telling kids that is what sex is - eroticised violence on camera. Teach teens the difference between media sex and real sex.
Why talk about pleasure?
We need to eroticise consent; explain that pressuring someone into something they are not into, is not ‘sexy’. Intimate encounters should always involve shared enthusiasm & motivation that is ongoing throughout the encounter. Be brave enough to talk about pleasure and that every sexual or intimate encounter should be an awesome or at least positive experience for both.
Currently, young people's main sex educator is porn.
Explain this benchmark: "You should NEVER have to coerce or talk someone 'into' doing something; this is not cool or pleasurable, sexy or sexually fulfilling."