Vanessa's Books

Talking Sex

A conversation guide for parents 

Vanessa's new book!
Order now -  Publish date 6th September 2023

• I am thrilled to put this out into the world.
• It is a guide to support parents to be the main provider of information to their kids  about human sexuality, respectful relationships and consent 
• Tips, scripts, conversation starters so that you will be your child's main source of information
• Backed by the latest research, I also tackle some tricky topics, it's time we all need to address, for the safety and wellbeing of children

Kit and Arlo Find a Way: Teaching consent to 8–12 year olds

By Ingrid Laguna & Vanessa Hamilton
Published by ACER 

• An action-packed and relatable fictional chapter book, Kit and Arlo is a page-turning journey of upper primary school kids – Kit, Arlo, Harley and Vanya – developing and exploring friendships with plenty of ups and downs. Entertaining and compelling as a standalone narrative, Kit and Arlo’s secret weapon is that it contains all of the complex components of consent and includes respectful relationships education in an age-appropriate format

Parents, This Is The One Thing You Need To Know

Edited by Sam Jockel and Kerri Ryan

• Vanessa is featured as one of the experts in this book 
• Honest parenting experiences
• Expert advice in a wide variety of topics
• Including advice on how to take care of yourself as a parent

1. Conception, Pregnancy & Birth

The Amazing True Story of How Babies Are Made

By Fiona Katauskas (Australian)

• All ages - including the adults
• Every household should have this book
• Covers puberty, body parts, sexual intercourse, pregnancy, birth etc
• Fabulous cartoons/illustrations, fun yet accurate and well researched
• Very basic mention of other forms of conception

What Makes a Baby

By Corey Silverberg 

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Fantastic starting point - simple but accurate non gendered
• Inclusive and positive: 'A book for every kind of family and every kind of kid'
• Essential resource about reproduction, conception, pregnancy, childbirth
• A great book for the whole family - including parents and caregivers

Making A Baby

By Rachel Greener & Clare Owen

• Ages: 5-8 years old
• Good descriptions and very inclusive i.e. in terms of gender, types of families
• Covers a great and very wide range of topics, easy to understand
• Covers IVF, surrogacy, artificial insemination
• Pregnancy, labour, birth and miscarriage
• Uses pictures and language well for age range

Play & Learn Paperdoll Families (Anatomically-correct)

By Cath Hakanson

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Interactive and activity based - paper dolls
• Inclusive of disability, roles of parents, feeding, gender, family structures, different ways babies are made
• Tips on how to have the conversation, how to navigate these discussions, and what topics to discuss
• Gentle yet comprehensive and inclusive introduction to how babies are made, born and fed
• Introduces about trans, non binary intersex into child's vocabulary
• Covers trans man & non binary pregnancy
• Examples of age-appropriate language and vocabulary to model with kids
• Gives pictures and explanations to accompany paper dolls

Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From

By Robie H Harris

• Ages: 4+ years old
• Comprehensive - think school project, great illustrations
• Another book from this author is 'It's not the stork'

Mummy laid an egg

By Babette Cole

• Ages: 4-9 years old
• Hilarious and fun, light hearted and fictional
• Helps explain that adults are shy about discussing this with kids - but kids are actually okay with it.

It's so amazing

By Robie H. Harris

• Ages: 7+ years old
• A book about eggs, sperm, birth, babies and families
• Detailed and entertaining, another great read for kids by this author

2. Puberty

Puberty

By Western Australian Department of Health

• Free online books
• Recently updated (2019)
• Written by experts
• https://healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/N_R/Puberty

Hair in Funny Places

By Babette Cole

• Ages: 5-11 years old
• A really funny book about puberty great tool to use to have a laugh and get the conversations flowing
• An older book so lacks inclusive and diversity  - heteronormative 

Welcome To Your Period

By Yumi Stynes & Dr. Melissa Kang

• Ages: 8-14 years old
• Inclusive in terms of body diversity, culture
• Uses humour and is quite interactive
• Good use of imagery, quotes and information
• Mostly targeted at girls/women but does cover trans identity, periods causing gender dysphoria
• Language is mostly inclusive: "non bleeders" & "menstruators"
• Comprehensive, covers a lot of topics such as period poverty, endometriosis, PCOS, period intercourse/sexual encounters

Secret Girls' Business

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard & Rose Stewart (Australian)

• Ages: 6-11 years old
• Simple language and fun illustrations
• Good book for much younger children to talk about periods

More Secret Girls' Business

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard & Rose Stewart (Australian)

• Ages: 8-13 years old
• This book is a companion volume to Secret Girls' Business
• In addition to information about periods, this puberty resource includes details about physical and emotional changes
• It gives girls a greater understanding and deeper knowledge about puberty and sexuality. Information is presented in a sensitive but open manner. 

Secret Boys' Business

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard & Rose Stewart (Australian)

• Ages: 8-13 years old
• Simple language and fun illustrations, great book
• It gives boys a greater understanding and deeper knowledge about puberty and sexuality. Information is presented in a sensitive but open manner.

The Puberty Book: A guide for children and teenagers, fourth edition

By Wendy Darvill and Kelsey Powell (Australian)

• Ages: 10-14 years old
• Chapter book with some illustrations
• Updated to include new information about social media, cyberbullying, online safety and dieting trends, the sixth edition of The Puberty Book answers all of those direct (pre) teenage questions

The Parents' Guide to Puberty

By Cath Hakanson

• For parents of kids aged 8-14 years old
• Detailed information and pictures about bodies and changes, and what to expect at different ages
• Inclusive language
• Very comprehensive, covers the spectrum of changes including ones that are not biological/physical changes such as sexuality, consent, online safety, social and emotional changes.
• Simple to follow and provides useful tips.

Puberty Girl

By Shushann Movsessian (Australian)

• Ages: 11+ years old
• Bright colourful pages
• Comprehensive with plenty of photos and illustrations as well
• A positive celebration of maturing bodies

Puberty Boy

By Geoff Price (Australian)

• Ages: 11+ years old
• Bright colourful pages
• Comprehensive with plenty of photos and illustrations as well
• A positive celebration of maturing bodies

Puberty and Special Girls

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard and Rose Stewart (Australian)

• This is a puberty book for girls with learning disabilities: Intellectual & Physical disability, Language disorders, and who are Autistic
• Provides practical information about growing up, helping girls (cisgender only) understand the changes experienced at puberty
• Simple text and colourful, fun illustrations
• Age appropriate information presented in a friendly, inclusive manner

3. Diversity

21 LGBTIQA+ book suggestions here: https://www.advocate.com/books/2016/1/29/21-lgbt-picture-books-every-kid-should-read#slide-1

Introducing Teddy: A Gentle Story About Gender and Friendship

By Jessica Walton (Australian Author)

• Ages: 4-7 years old
• Gender identity and transitioning 
• Ideal heartwarming story about being true to yourself and being a good friend
• Starts conversations with young children

And Tango Makes Three

By Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

• Ages: 3-8 years old
• Award winning book on Same Sex Parenting
• Based on a true story; Roy and Silo are just like the other penguin couples at the zoo - they bow to each other, walk together and swim together. But Roy and Silo are a little bit different - they're both males.
• Then one day, when Mr Gramzay the zookeeper finds them trying to hatch a stone, he realises that it may be time for Roy and Silo to become parents for real.

King and King

By Linda de Haan

• Ages: 3-8 years old
• A lovely book about finding Prince or Princess charming - whatever suits you
• A contemporary story about finding true love, so not in the way most Disney movies represent love and fairytales.

Everybody Thought I Was A Boy

By Anisa Varasteh

• Ages: 3-5 years old
• Clear, simple language about diversity
• Uses real situations and how to best respond
• Models good language for children and adults to use
• Easy story to follow and understand
• Great realistic imagery
• Good introduction to learning about what transgender means

Love Makes A Family

By Sophie Beer

• Ages: 1+ years old
• Beautiful, inclusive images
• Shows the diversity of families
• Clear and easy language

The GENDER Book

By Mel Reiff Hill and Jay Mays (and a whole big beautiful community)

• Ages 12+
• Information is delivered in picture/graphic form
• Designed to be used as an educational resource
• Breaks down misconceptions, stereotypes, cultural expectations, assumptions about gender
• Gives a comprehensive explanation of sex, gender, perception, expression, transition and allyship
• Explores how to frame gender beyond a binary system
• Features stories and statements from community across the world on the topic

4. Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Human Sexuality

Sex is a Funny Word

By Corey Silverberg

• Ages: 8+ years old
• A must for all households
• A comic style book for kids
• Inclusive of children and families of all makeups, orientations, and gender identities 
• Essential resource about bodies, gender, and sexuality for children
• A great book for the whole family - including parents and caregivers

Wait, What? A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up

By Heather Corinna & Isabella Rotman

• Ages: 9-14 years old
• Written in a conversational style, very easy to read
• Interactive - inclusive activities such as word searches and crosswords
• Very inclusive - using language like "if you have a vagina" and "if you have a penis"
• Normalises pleasure and body image (I.e. genitals looking different)
• Explores gender, trans identity, sexuality, labels and social issues like labels, the word "virgin", different family structures
• Made by educators from Scarleteen: a site with inclusive, comprehensive and supportive sexuality and relationships information for young people

The Sex Education Answer Book Revised Edition By The Age Responses to Questions Kids Ask Parents About Sex (2021 Version)

By Cath Hakanson

• For parents of kids aged 3-14 years old
• Tackles more complex topics
• Practical advice
• Ready to go answers
• Language can be gendered and heteronormative; would recommend parents adapting more inclusive language when having conversations with their kids
• Shows how information builds upon itself across the ages
• Demonstrates what extra information to add and how to advance your language as children get older
• Very detailed and advanced, addresses difficult topics such as beastility and paying for sex

Relationships, Sex & Other Stuff

By Western Australian Department of Health

• Free online book!!!
• Updated in 2019
• Written by experts
• https://healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/N_R/Relationships-sex-and-other-stuff

It's Perfectly Normal

By Robie H. Harris

• Ages: 9+ years old
• Plenty of detail, covers many topics
• Lots of words plus pictures
• Think encyclopedia for kids
• A one stop book on sexuality for your pre teens

The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard and Rose Stewart (Australian)

• Ages: 11+ years old
• Relationships: Healthy friendships, romantic feelings, sexual diversity and gender identity, emotional and physical safety
• Also: Conception, pregnancy and birth, sexual decision-making, contraception, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmissible infected, consent, sex and the law

Special Girls' Business

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard and Rose Stewart (Australian)

• This sex education book helps girls with special needs; Intellectual disability, Physical disability, Communication disorder and who are autistic
• It takes a girl and her career step by step through the process of managing periods including the use and disposal of pads
• Information is presented simply with clear colourful pictures and brief simple text
• Helps adults manage this stage of life with confidence, by providing practical hints for parents, teacher and carers, with special hints for dads

Special Boys Business

By Fay Angelo, Heather Pritchard and Rose Stewart (Australian)

• This sexuality education book helps boys with learning disabilities: Intellectual disability, Physical disability, Communication disorder and those who are autistic and the important adults in their lives, to manage this stage of life with confidence
• Disability puberty book which takes a boy, his parents and carers through the physical and emotional changes experienced at puberty
• It has simple text and colourful, fun illustrations. Age appropriate information is presented in a friendly, inclusive manner which is ideal for boys with special needs

Girl Stuff for Girls ages 8-12

By Kaz Cooke

• Ages 8-12+ years old
• Guide to pre teens
• Cheerful and simple language

Vagina and Period 101 A Pop Up Book

By Christian Hoeger & Kristen Lilla

• Ages 8-12+ years old
• Literally a pop up book, beautiful, cartoon style, describing vulvas and vaginas
• Cheerful and simple language, includes descriptions of menstrual cups and reusable underwear and cloth pads

The Ultimate Puberty Book for Boys, Growing Up Great

By Scott Todnem, 2019

• Ages: 10+ years old
• Easy to read, simple language; teaches scientific words/names to learn about how the body works
• This author values inclusiveness but was asked by the publishers to write 'boys', though he has been as. inclusive as possible under this brief
• Straight talking, supportive and informative
• Diverse imagery, inclusive of race and ability

Girlwise - A Guide To Taking Care of Your Body

By Sharon Witt (Australian)

• Ages: 6-12 years old
• Our bodies are an amazing gift and have been created to do incredible things.
• Part of growing up, means learning to appreciate and care for our bodies in order to keep them healthy and growing

Teen Talk - Guy Talk

By Sharon Witt (Australian)

• Ages: 10+ years old
• What is going on with my body!? Why do girls act in such strange ways? Why do I feel this way?
• Answers to many questions concerning changing bodies. This book provides up to date information on many issues relating to puberty and growing up, in an entertaining and informative way

S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

By Heather Corina

• Ages: 14+ 
• A text version of the excellent website www.scarleteen.com
• Every household bookshelf should have a copy

For Foxes' Sakes

By Row Murray (Australian)

• Ages: 14+ girls
• Great advice for girls about growing up - sharing insight from someone else who has 'been there done that'
• For example, I particularly like the harm reduction approach to sexting advice - empowering them with decision making skills and risk awareness rather than just telling them 'not to do it'
• Designed for parents to read first then give it to your daughter

Sex and Lovers A Practical Guide 

By Ann-Marlene Henning & Tina Bremer-Olszewski 

• Ages: Mature 16+ years old
• Sex positive alternative to pornography 
• Very sexually explicit with beautiful images/photos of positive, inclusive human sexuality and intimacy
• From the Netherlands a book all teens (who have viewed porn) need to see
• Give this to your teen as they prepare to become sexually active - don't let porn be their main educator

Love Your Body

By Jessica Sanders

• Ages: 6+ years old
• Great imagery of diverse bodies
• Resources included at the end
• Postive messaging
• Centres on "feminine" body image

Be Your Own Man

By Jessica Sanders

• Ages: 8+ years old
• Targets gender stereotypes
• Works on emotional literacy
• Resources included at the end

Play & Learn Paperdoll Superheroes (Anatomically-correct)

By Cath Hakanson

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Diverse and inclusive imagery
• Fun superhero theme
• Easy way to facilitate conversations about bodies and different anatomy with kids
• Provides tips on how to begin these discussions and what topics to cover
• Covers gender stereotypes, same sex relationships, body safety, intersex bodies and more

Play & Learn Paperdoll Friends (Anatomically-correct)

By Cath Hakanson

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Diverse and inclusive imagery
• Easy way to facilitate conversations about bodies and different anatomy with kids
• Provides tips on how to begin these discussions and what topics to cover
• Covers gender stereotypes, same sex relationships, body safety, intersex bodies and more
• Covers the same content as superhero version

5. Protective Behaviours & Body Safety

No Means No

By Jayneen Sanders (Australian)

• Ages: 3-8 years old
• Full colour simple language
• One of my favourite books to start explaining children's rights and choices, especially regarding their body
• Empowering and educational note to the reader and added discussion question section for the reader

My Body! What I Say Goes!

By Jayneen Sanders (Australian)

• Ages: 4-9 years old
• One of my favourite books to explain all of the Protective Safety rules without alarming kids
• Empowering and educational
• Contains suggestions of questions adults can ask the children while reading the book to facilitate further discussion

This Is My Body

By Lil Carle

• Ages: 3-6 years old
• Beautiful images
• Rhyming story to reinforce body autonomy in a gentle poem
• A great addition to a collection of body safety books

My Underpants Rule

By Kate and Rod Power (Australian)

• Ages: 3-8 years old
• A fun bright and lively book, the rhyme captures the attention of children
• Provides education for young children by encouraging and empowering them, without causing alarm

Everyone's Got A Bottom

By Tess Rowley & Family Planning Queensland (Australia)

• Ages: 3-7 years old
• A great book about body safety
• Bonus notes in the back for adults about child abuse and protection safety

Cut and Colour Paper Dolls Book - Sex Ed Rescue

By Cath Hakanson (Australia)

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Perfect way for parents to start talking to their kids about human autonomy, gender, and the value of inclusion and diversity
• Fun resource

Hayden-Reece Learns a Valuable Lesson That Private Means Just For You

By Holly-Ann Martin (Australia)

• Ages: 5-11 years old
• This book will help both parents and teachers explain this important subject so that children of all ages will understand the difference between public and private
• Explain how it applies to them personally in their daily lives
• The end of this book has resource pages for adults, which include going over the main points of Protective Behaviours, and giving specific information to effectively and efficiently deal with receiving a disclosure from a child

Matilda Learns A Valuable Lesson

By Holly-Ann Martin (Australia)

• Ages: 5-11 years old
• This book talks about a child feeling uncomfortable, kissing a particular relative and how her family and her solved this problem
• An invaluable safety resource for those who teach children and a powerful tool for children of all ages and cultures
• The end of this book has resource pages for adults, which include going over the main points of Protective Behaviours, and giving specific information to effectively and efficiently deal with receiving a disclosure from a child

ABC Of Body Safety And Consent

By Jayneen Sanders

• Ages: 4-10 years old
• Conversational style
• Doesn't have to be read in sequential order - designed as a "dip in and dip out" book to use as you need
• Beautiful, inclusive imagery
• Gives simple yet comprehensive information on body safety and protective behaviour
• Language is accessible for young children and gives them actionable tips and tools to use

Little BIG Chats

By Jayneen Sanders

• Ages: 2-6 years old
• Easy to follow, short lessons, filled with eye catching imagery 
• Accessible and age appropriate language
• Great choice of topics and comprehensive cover of important topics
• Sets up good foundational knowledge from a young age
• Includes discussion questions for parents and language to model for children
• Includes 12 books on the topics of: Consent, Secrets and Surprises, Private Parts are Private, My Safety Network, My Early Warning Signs, Families, I Always Try, Feelings, Everyone is Equal, Empathy, Mindfulness, & Around the World

6. Consent

Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent And Respect

By Jayneen Sanders

• Ages: 4-10 years old
• Vanessa loves using this book in the classroom for Years 1 & 2 to teach consent and respect
• It talks about body boundaries, asking permission, ability to say no
• Scenarios include holding hands, having hugs, and playing in the playground
• Inclusive images (culture, abilities, diverse sexual orientation/families)
• Fantastic book - every household with primary school aged children should have it

Welcome To Consent

By Yumi Styles & Dr Melissa Kang

• Ages: 10+ years old
• Clear, appropriate language
• Uses quotes from children to adults
• Uses realistic scenarios/examples
• Reflects consent across a diverse range of backgrounds i.e. race, gender, ability, culture
• Bright images, engaging & easy to read

How To Say Hello

By Sophie Beer

• Ages: 3+ years old
• Beautiful, bright images
• Simple messaging
• Good first introduction and boundaries using a real life scenario

Consent. The New Rules Of Sex Education

By Jennifer Lang, 2018

• Ages: 12+ years old
• Every teen's guide to healthy relationships
• Great book, simple inclusive language and descriptions
• A straightforward overview of human sexuality and sexual health
• Plenty of discussion about dating and relationships
• Tools for communicating and understanding consent
• Abuse and assault defined in a helpful way

Can We Talk About Consent?

By Justin Hancock

• Ages: 13-17 years old
• Very detailed, builds foundational knowledge of consent. Uses metaphors and non sexual situations to build upon understanding
• Provides useful tips and dialogue
• Really fleshes out body language and how to interpret/question in alongside or in the absence of words
• Uses inclusive language and addresses topics such as sexism, racism, ableism, classism, and homo/bi/transphobia in regards to consent

7. Pornography - Prepare and Protect

Someone Should Have Told Me

By Holly-Ann Martin, 2018 (Australian)

• Colourful fun illustrations to help with these difficult conversations: children seeing pornography online, face-to-face and online grooming by predators, sexting and children exposing other children to pornography, questions to see whether children have understood the key concepts, information to support adults in their explanations of the potential dangers, what to do if a child has seen pornography, what to do if a child discloses that they have been abused
• A must-have for parents, carers, teachers and educators looking to teach children child protection education

Hayden-Reece Learns What To Do if Children See Private Pictures or Private Movies

By Holly-Ann Martin, (Australian)

• Miss Martin teaches her class what to do if they should come across private pictures or private movies
• While watching Minecraft videos, poor Hayden-Reece comes across a private movie, he thinks his mum will take away his device, so he doesn't tell her
• After having nightmares he finally tells his mum, who doesn't take it away, but talks with him about what he has seen

Good Pictures Bad Pictures

By Kristen Jenson

• Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a comfortable, read loud story
• It's about a mum and dad who teach their child what pornography is, why it's dangerous, and how to reject it. Using easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains
• Some good activities to do - especially if a child has viewed pornography

Not For Kids

By Liz Walker (Australian)

• Ages: 5-10 years old
• One day this little girl saw an image on a phone that made her feel sick
• Luckily she had a safe adult to help her through this, written in rhyme

8. For The Adults

Yarning Quiet Ways

By Western Australian Department of Health

• Free online book!!!
• Helps parents and carers of young Aboriginal people yarn about strong, safe and healthy relationships
• Age and stage appropriate information for parents of children, birth to teens
• https://gdhr.wa.gov.au/documents/yqw

Talk Soon Talk Often

By Western Australian Department of Health

• Free online book!!!
• Recently updated (2019)
• Written by experts
• https://gdhr.wa.gov.au/documents/tstov2

Girls And Sex

By Peggy Orienstein

• New York Times Best Seller
• Every parent of a female identifying child should read this
• "Drawing on in-depth interviews with nearly one hundred young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orienstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls' sex lives in the modern world."
• "...A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls..."

Boys And Sex

By Peggy Orienstein

• New York Times Best Seller
• Every parent of a male identifying child should read this
• Such an important book for this times of raising boys

A Celebration of Vulva Diversity

A book by The Vulva Gallery

• Every house should have this to make up for damage done in history of not naming this body part
• Wonderful drawings and exceptionally accurate information
• Older teens who have a vulva or a partner who has one should see this book

Traffic Lights

By True Relationships and Reproductive Health

• Uses the categories of green, orange and red light to help professionals,  caring for children and young people, to appropriately identify, understand, and respond to children and young people's displays of sexual behaviours that is age and developmentally appropriate
• It helps professionals  to provide continued support of healthy sexual development while also protecting children and young people from harm or abuse
• Has been developed for professionals for use with parents and carers; it is not intended for parents and carers in isolation
• Online tool: https://www.true.org.au/shop#!/Traffic-Lights%c2%ae-Booklet/p/57318729/category=18401031

9. Parents read first then teens 

Welcome To Sex 

By Dr Melissa Kang and Yumi Stynes 

• An excellent book. Evidence-based, accurate resource for teens
• Written by a Dr and Professor in Adolescent Health 
• An alternative to the harmful messages they are receiving every day from the likes of social media,  the internet and popular culture 
• A recent Australian study showed nearly 40% of teens had an unwanted sexual encounter - the average age that occurred was 14.9 years old
• Research shows that they need accurate information to keep them safe healthy happy and well in their sexual encounters -  young people also tell us this time and time again
• Dont let p0rn0graphy be your child's main educator  - read this book yourself and then give it to your child when you think they are ready
• As far as age-appropriate ness  - parents be the judge  - that is why it is in the parent section of bookshops. But in my work, I hear about many 14-year-olds who need this accurate information about Human Sexuality, Respectful Relationships and Consent 
• Remember the average age of first viewing p0rn0graphy is  13  - many as young as 11  years of age. 10% of 9 year olds have viewed it in the UK 
• Our children deserve better than to have sex education from p0rn.